Most fairy tales start with once upon a time. Mine started with, “I just don’t think we want the same thing anymore.” Does that seem a little backwards? That's because my fairy tale started with the closing of a different story.
Summer of 2012, I boarded a plane and left Germany behind, along with the life I had built with someone, for an unknown future. I was nearing the end of my first trimester of a pregnancy I had longed to experience, only to now struggle with the thought of being a single mom.
The next several months would be a roller coaster of emotions. In March of 2013 I welcomed my beautiful baby boy into this world, and in May of 2013 I was officially divorced. In less than a year, my life was flipped upside down. I spent a lot of time being angry about that and wondering why any of it happened. I spent even more time wondering what in the world the future held and whether I would go at it on my own. But mostly I felt incredibly vulnerable and uncomfortable as I continued to think to myself that this is not what my life was supposed to look like.
I have learned a lot throughout the years. I learned how to lean into God, and His strength prevailed time and time again. Somewhere along the way, I gained a peaceful contentment for the blessings this unexpected life had brought. I have a uniquely close relationship with my son. I gained a fierce sense of independence that I never knew I had. And I learned that I didn’t need anyone to complete me. However, there were still times where I missed the companionship a relationship brings.
There was an occasional relationship over the years, but none that ever offered a true vision of a life together. I will admit that in my contentment, I was absolutely fine if God never brought the right person along. However, I still prayed to share my life with someone. I wanted to have a best friend. I wanted to have someone I could share the burdens of life with, serve with, and someone to love.
As I sit here to type this out, upon my left ring finger sits a beautiful, sparkling ring. I love this ring, but the story behind it is so much better and much more powerful. Saturday morning I went on a hike with my boyfriend and finished that hike with my fiance. Of course he would make me hike a mile up a mountain to get this ring. I love hiking with him, but the last quarter mile of this hike was no joke. We were having to step over large boulders and I was breathing pretty heavy at the end of it. People take this hike all the time, and largely for the benefit of the view that awaits them at the top.
Preachers Rock is part of the Appalachian Trail and boasts a gorgeous view when you reach the top. So naturally, people are willing to make the hike for the benefit of the view. Unfortunately, the weather was not very cooperative this past Saturday morning. When we started our trek, it was hazy and foggy and looked like it would rain at any minute. I knew this supposed view was not going to be great. I remember thinking with those last hard steps that I didn’t see much point in finishing this hike.
Still my best friend continued to trek on, because he was committed to the task he had laid out for the day. He had a plan. He made sure his friends had tagged along because he knew I wanted someone to capture the moment he asked me, even though he hates to be the center of attention. We arrived at the top of the mountain and sure enough the view evaded us. It was just like we were in a cloud.
Despite the lack of a view, I still witnessed my best friend get down on one knee. It was the perfect moment. You see this ring doesn’t just represent my best friend and the commitment I have made to him and vice versa. It represents a story of redemption. We have both seen stories end, and for us both it is the beginning of a new story.
I couldn’t see the view that day, but it didn’t matter. The answer to so many prayers was right in front of me. It didn’t matter what was beyond that cloud, just like it doesn’t matter what the future holds. So, you might catch me gazing at this ring with a big smile on my face. If you do just know it is not only because it is beautiful. It is not only because it represents the man I love. It is not only because I know my son will have another wonderful man in his life. It is because I am living in the best part of my fairy tale, which proves God is faithful- even when we can’t see past the clouds.
